Get your call to action (CTA) into the first 140 words of your email appeal. I use this every time I write an email. It’s a good one.
And if I can get a CTA into the first 90 words, results are often even better.
Using our on-the-fly example of Angela from the Story of One, above, here's what 98 words look like to reach
the call-to-action:
Dear XXXX,
Angela’s smile would melt your heart.
Every day as she gets off the bus and heads into school, this little six-year-old pauses, turns, and smiles that toothy, lightbulb smile at her bus driver.
“Have a happy day!” she waves.
Yet if you look closer, you’ll see something else. Angela walks a step behind. And she looks like she carries the weight of the world in
her faded yellow backpack.
No child should have to go to school hungry. But every day, little six-year-old Angela with the lightbulb smile does.
And I’m writing to you today to ask... [CTA]
See what I mean ? Even at 98 words, you can get in a good lead for a story but not take so long that you risk losing the reader (email's faster than direct mail, remember).
(4.) 12 pt minimum print/18 pt for
email.
If you know me, this is no surprise. Set your font to 12 point or larger, unless it’s some giant slab serif that sets like a 16 at 10.
Copy too long? Edit your copy before you shrink point size: No one wants tiny font.
But for email, go with 18. This is 18 point font right here. (But this little guy? If your email server renders this properly, it's 12 point.) That's too tiny for email. (h/t Jess Campbell for the reminder!)
(5.) 7 lines maximum.
That's paragraph length, and you don't want them longer in your appeal letters. Emails I aim for 3
lines max. Supporter newsletters are usually in columns, like a newspaper. So sometimes you'll have longer paragraphs. But you will be using subheads (please) to break those up.
For letters, know this: Your readers will respond MUCH better to paras of 4, 3, 2 and even 1 line. (Not all 1s and 2s all the time please, though. Too choppy.)
(6.) 35 words maximum.
This one's for sentence length.
And honestly? A
35-word sentence is really pushing the limits of comprehension and readability. Shorter is almost always better. Like paragraphs, mix them up.
Let's go back to our story with Angela.
The middle sentence in our email lead is 27 words. And that's about as long as you're ever going to see me go in an appeal. But in our case it was surrounded by two simple, standalone, 1-line
paragraphs.
Now watch what happens if we push that same sentence over 35 words. It's just not the same:
Angela’s smile would melt your heart.
Every day as she carefully gets off the bus and starts down the wide, crowded walkway into her school, this little six-year-old with the head of chestnut curls pauses, turns, and smiles that toothy, lightbulb smile at her bus
driver.
“Have a happy day!” she waves.
That middle sentence is now 40 words, and it's too long. Notice how all the detail is starting to detract and bog you down. 35 is better, or even less.
(7.) 40/40/20. (Or 70/20/10.)
This rule says 40% of your direct mail appeal’s success is based on list, 40% on offer, and 20% on copy and design.
More depressing for us writers?
70/20/10. 😁
Still, it makes sense: Get your appeal to the right people. Create a strong offer. Back it up with solid creative. Success!
Want more on how to use Offer-Audience-Format when you're strategizing writing and creative? I share more about the
OAF here.
(8.) The 4Cs.
Another writing formula. (I’m a fundraising writer, so there's lots of these.)
Make your writing: Clear. Concise. Compelling. Credible. There are variations. I like this one.
Back to Angela for this, and our 40-word run-on sentence. Ask:
- Is it clear? Well, it's not awful. But it's certainly not
as clear as it could be. As a writer formulas like these can help keep you from falling in love with certain phrases and lofty prose. [The late, great Joan Throckmorton had a cardinal rule for writing: First, make sense. It's a good one to follow too.]
- Is it concise? At 40 words, you don't need an editing app to answer that. Time to cut copy!
- Is it compelling? Meh. Sometimes the best thing you can do is describe less. Let your reader fill
in some of the blanks. If you keep the good bits, believe me, they'll build a poignant picture of their own... and because it's theirs, it's even better.
- Is it credible? In this case, yes. But again, when you over-describe, it can run the risk of less credible vs. more.
(9.) The 4Us.
This formula can be helpful when you're writing headlines, for supporter newsletters, let's say.
Urgent. Unique. Useful.
Ultra-specific.
But it's not set in stone, and I'll add right now that many of my newsletter headlines don't follow the 4Us. [A great book for headlines is ancient by now, and it's based on sales and advertising, but my copy is dog-eared with the pages falling out, Tested Advertising Methods by John Caples.]
(10.) 48 hours.
Loads on this in my book Thankology. To be most effective, send an authentic, sincere thank-you within 48
hours after receipt of the gift.
But if it’s a dust-dry acknowledgment? Nope. Take an extra day or two to rewrite. Then send. Again, more in my book (on Bookshop, Amazon, and Civil Sector Press).
(11.) Grade 4 to Grade 8.
Reading level. I like HemingwayApp for this. Run your appeal through to
find out how easy your letter is to read. Fyi: dense copy doesn’t make anyone sound smarter. It just makes people less likely to read.
(12.) 90 days, roughly.
Also in Thankology, used with permission and full credit to Bill Jacobs at The Analytical Ones using data from
99,425 donors:
The bottom line here is the cost of waiting too long to communicate after the first gift. New donors that give a second gift in the first 90ish days have a lifetime value nearly 2X those who give at 12 months. (Another reason to get that lovely thank-you sent.)
(13.) 730 days too.
Same source. Don’t give up on your donors who make a second gift after one year. At just under two years, they’ll still give... but if you check out Bill's
chart at The Analytical Ones, link above, you'll see how 'resting' your donors is a really expensive strategy. 90 days is better.
Fundraising formulas can't save a bad strategy or a bad appeal. But they can definitely serve as wise reminders, to keep you clear of pitfalls and make your work more effective.
I know they help me. And I hope in my heart of writerly hearts they help you.
Thanks for all you do in the world. I'm glad you're
here.
See you in two weeks. 🙏😊✍️
Write with great heart!
